To honor October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, The Finley Project is sharing Guest Blogs. This mother requested to remain anonymous. I commend her for her bravery and willingness to share as another hurting mom can connect with her words and feel less alone…Thank you brave mom for sharing.
“It’s like a devil, perhaps the devil, reached down into your gut and ripped the most important piece of your plan right out of you.
As if someone demolished your every waking dream and your reality becomes a dark place you don’t want to wake up to.
Yet there is nowhere your feelings are justified, like 9 weeks just wasn’t long enough to feel such pain.
So you smile and pretend the sunshine doesn’t hurt and you do have the courage to move on.
But the wait, the agonizing wait, before you can attempt creation again, causes your heart to sink deeper into a fearful place.
Somewhere you don’t want anyone to know exists, not your best friend, not even your mom, especially not your husband.
And silently you mourn over your plan that was ruined, your dreams that were shattered, your heart that is broken.
And the only peace you can find is through the realization that this life is not your plan, it’s His.”