I Cannot Shake It

I have seen the hurting left alone and not cared for, followed up with and forgotten.  I have seen doctors not on hospital property when families needed help, including myself. I have seen others care about first world problems, all the while their neighbor is contemplating suicide, suffering greatly and needing a hand to hold theirs.

I want to challenge you, the reader (and myself), to follow the passion Gods places in your heart and not to stop! Whatever the calling, whatever the nudge kneading in your spirit, start unraveling your soul so that you can walk in what you are designed to walk in.

In Novemer, I will share what my eyes have seen that "I Cannot shake." This month, I will share my hurting heart in seeing the forgotten and that I had to do something, but first, keep my own heart in focus, seeking healing and forgiveness. 

"Sometimes you just have to preach to yourself," I shared last week at a speaking engagement. I have really felt this over the course of dealing with Finley's death, my dad dying, Tim leaving me. Whatever is takes to motivate and push myself, is what I have done. Sometimes in my own strength, but lately the Lord is saying "enough," you MUST rely solely on me, everyday, every hour, every minute.

I needed some refreshing lately, so I started re-reading the powerful book, "Undaunted" by Christine Cain. It is so good. It reminded me about running the race God called me to and focusing on who He is in order to accomplish the impossible. My dry heart is being watered.

I have huge dreams given to me.

I have big goals in how to change things in his world.

I want different for those hurting, for myself, for the injustices I have personally seen.

I won't give up.

I won't be quiet.

I have a passion I cannot shake.

After speaking at a different event last week, an older gentleman came and told me he lost a brother and what made a difference in my presentation versus others, was my passion. Gosh, that melted my heart. God used those two words, "my passion" to remind me I am capable, I am called, I am equipped. I find myself taking my eyes off of Him and that's when I start slipping and the worlds lies begin to whisper..."you can't do this, you can't help, you are going to fail." Jesus gently reminds me that the enemy is battling for my soul. The greater the impact the greater the threat to evil. 

It hasn't been easy, that's why I'm reading this book again. I question my abilities often, our organizations' effectiveness daily and if I am equipped to even help the hurting. I am hurting too, but know I have to keep running in order to grow and learn. I do not have a  Social Work or Counseling degree, of which I have been reminded by those in corporate America I "should have," our organization does not have investors of which I was told "we need" in order to take our organization to the "next level," we do not have a ton of employees, or even an office space so from the outside, we don't look to be an elite nonprofit.

But...

The shepard boy David wasn't the tallest nor strongest. 

Moses wasn't the most articulate. 

Saul, later Paul, persecuted those he later fought for. 

So my conclusion, Jesus will use, the unqualified, the afraid, Noelle Moore, to further His Kingdom, to serve her hurting and to change policies that seemingly can't be changed.

I have been challenged through this book to truly serve as Jesus served, to take my eyes off of myself and keep them focused on Jesus. Just as Peter stepped out of the boat, I too must step out, yet I have to keep my chin up and my eyes opened to the ONLY one I need to please. I must pursue, wholeheartedly the things "I Cannot Shake" because I am destined to do great things to honor the only worth worth honoring. 

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